


Silencio en la sala, que el burro va a hablar

by korereapers



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Attempt at Humor, Gen, Multi, Sibling Bonding, Sylvain should be a warning on his own, ace attorney au... kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korereapers/pseuds/korereapers
Summary: Sylvain ends up getting processed quite often, always because of stupid shit that he could easily avoid by behaving like a normal and civilized human being, but the task is apparently just too much for him.Not that Dimitri can judge, given that, as teenagers, he accidentally broke both of Sylvain’s legs while playing soccer. Felix said that both of them deserved the pain and the shame. He is indebted to Sylvain, and Sylvain might as well remind him at every turn.“You can’t judge me, Dimitri. You’re a defense attorney, not a judge,” Sylvain says, his voice a little tense, digging himself a deeper grave when he is nervous, as always. “You get it? Eh?”Dimitri needs a fucking drink.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro, Edelgard von Hresvelg/Hubert von Vestra, Hilda Valentine Goneril & Claude von Riegan, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Minor or Background Relationship(s), They're all minor but I'm tagging them so you know what to expect, past and unrequited Byleth/Edelgard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17
Collections: Step By Step: A Dimitri & Edelgard Siblings Zine





	Silencio en la sala, que el burro va a hablar

**Author's Note:**

> This was honestly A BLAST to write and I'm glad the mods gave me the opportunity to write about this AU, which characters I love this freaking much.
> 
> The fic is focused on Edelgard and Dimitri. This is a siblings zine so yeah, it's about them as adoptive siblings.
> 
> The title is a reference to a Spaniard childs game which goes more or less like "silence in the room, the donkey's gonna talk. The first one to speak is the donkey. Time's up, your majesty!" and indeed, the first one to talk is called a donkey. It's used to keep kids quiet... and also, "silencio en la sala" is what judges say in Spanish to ask for order. So, yeah, puns.
> 
> Keep your overgrown kids quiet, Your Honor.

The courtroom is impossibly warm, and Dimitri feels sweat coming down his forehead.

In front of him, Edelgard almost smiles, in the way that only she can. Like she has everything under control, and Dimitri is yet again losing this battle of wits. And emotional stability.

He suppresses the urge to groan, because the court is very much indeed looking at a couple of very much incriminating photographs. Besides him, Sylvain seems very much unaffected by the whole ordeal, red hair on point, his smile nervous, but still practically unashamed.

As freaking always.

“Your Honor, believe me. It was an accident. I just forgot to put on my clothes after having the best night of-”

Dimitri cannot take it anymore. He covers Sylvain’s mouth with one of his hands, muffling every sound. He mentally reminds himself not to be too rough, to control his strength, not after Sylvain whines that he is breaking his teeth.

Dimitri is almost sure that Sylvain is just exaggerating. Almost.

The judge looks at them in disbelief, and Dimitri feels… well, judged. Her green hair beautifully cascades as she moves forward, green eyes both gentle and cold. She reminds him of a strict mother, but also of a bored child at the same time.

“Your client is not really helping your case, Mister Blaiddyd.”

_ You don’t say.  _ It’s what Dimitri thinks, his smile awkward and way too tense. Edelgard’s assistant, Hubert, looks at him with a grin that is definitely cruel, and Dimitri almost wonders why his sister associates with someone like him to begin with. He knows the reason. It’s just that Edelgard is way too proud to admit it herself. To herself and others.

Still, Dimitri doesn’t like Hubert. Never has, and probably never fully will, given how much their personalities clash.

“Miss Von Hresvelg,” it’s everything Dimitri manages to say, blue eyes unfocused because of the tension. “Can we have a recess, only for ten minutes? I need to reevaluate the case with you.”

Edelgard raises an eyebrow, and Her Honor imitates the gesture. They are very much alike, Dimitri thinks. Not that any of them would be happy with the comparison. Judge Rhea thinks that Edelgard is a spoiled child who thinks too highly of herself, and Edelgard thinks that Judge Rhea is an uptight old woman that should let someone younger (how  _ old  _ is she, to begin with?) take her place.

“Again?” his sister asks, her voice hard and cold as steel, but his puppy eyes seem to work, because she sighs and nods, not without letting the jury comment on Sylvain’s abs. He asked, to begin with. The aforementioned winks at them, and Dimitri feels like exploding.

“You can touch them if you want to. I love all of my fans.”

“No, they cannot.” both Dimitri and Edelgard say at the same time.

The judge’s secretary looks at her in disbelief, but she just shrugs, like she is used to it. Her smile is unwavering as she speaks, her expression so soft and beautiful that she looks like an angel.

“Seteth… let’s go. I do need... that recess.”

What she needs is a drink, and Dimitri can’t say he doesn’t understand. Sylvain ends up getting processed quite often, always because of stupid shit that he could easily avoid by behaving like a normal and civilized human being, but the task is apparently just too much for him.

Not that Dimitri can judge, given that, as teenagers, he accidentally broke both of Sylvain’s legs while playing soccer. Felix said that both of them deserved the pain and the shame. He is indebted to Sylvain, and Sylvain might as well remind him at every turn.

“You can’t judge me, Dimitri. You’re a defense attorney, not a judge,” Sylvain says, his voice a little tense, digging himself a deeper grave when he is nervous, as always. “You get it? Eh?”

Dimitri needs a fucking drink.

  
  


* * *

The cup of chamomile dangerously trembles between his big hands. He hasn’t slept in days, but he knows the effect that coffee can have on someone who can break doors with no effort. The worst part of it is that Sylvain hasn’t stopped smiling, and is currently trying to hit on his step-sister.

_ Nice _ .

“You look like shit,” is everything that Edelgard says, looking at Dimitri directly and completely ignoring Sylvain’s efforts. Behind her, Hubert resembles a shadowy figure that follows her every step with a curling grin that looks almost  _ malicious _ .

_ What a creepy man. _

It’s obvious, Dimitri thinks. Hubert has a crush on Edelgard, and Edelgard may or may not return his feelings, unable to get over that silly crush on their professor back when they were in law school.

She deserves to be happy and at peace. She seems to be when Hubert is around. _Strangely enough,_ considering everything that Hubert’s presence screams.

“Thank you, you look lovely as well,” Dimitri answers, and he is not lying. She looks beautiful as always, a queen in the courtroom, while he probably looks like one of those mad kings in medieval fantasies that end up devoured by dragons or murdered by their own people. Probably. He’ll ask Felix next time, since he is the (definitely not) expert in medieval fantasies.

“Dimitri,” Edelgard starts after a sigh. “Your stupid friend is guilty. He did yet another stupid thing, and it’s time he gets actual consequences for his actions.”

“Hey!” Sylvain immediately complains, almost pouting. “I got consequences! Ingrid is not going to talk to me for days after this.”

Yet another mutual crush that hasn’t been dealt with. Right. His friends and loved ones should create a club about being emotionally useless.

Hubert rolls his eyes, and then looks at Dimitri. And he knows what’s coming, because with Hubert, it’s always a storm.

“I think your new boyfriend is keeping your thoughts busy, Mister Blaiddyd. You can’t seem to think clearly. Haven’t been all day.”

“Hubert,” Edelgard reprimands him, as Dimitri is too busy blushing from head to toe. It’s not just the case that hasn’t let him sleep properly. Dedue’s gentle caresses can be very convincing, without really meaning to.

It’s Sylvain’s time to intervene, thus saving Dimitri’s ass and his own. Mostly his own.

“Leave the man be. The matter is important, you know,” he says, his voice oddly serious. It looks nice on him, for a change.

They could all get used to it.

“Thank you, Sylvain, as I was saying-”

“Do you think that hot judge will be lenient if I promise her a night she will be unable to forget?”

The room falls silent. It’s both too hot and too cold, and Dimitri cannot breathe. Edelgard’s expression is blank, and Hubert is actually snorting.

Damn it all - the trial, the judge, and everything - he’s going to kill Sylvain himself.

* * *

A few meters from them, a man and a woman look at the situation, popcorn box in hand. Her pink earrings shine when she moves her head to look at the man, both of them clearly amused. He looks at her with a playful grin, the gesture reaching his green eyes, and both of them get another handful of popcorn.

“Isn’t it weird for members of the court of arbitration to be enjoying this?” Hilda asks, munching loudly.

They weren’t contacted to help with the case, even if they’re relying more and more on them for criminal affairs. If it was Judge Rhea or Prosecutor Hresvelg who declined their offer, neither of them knows. Maybe it was Rhea’s secretary, Seteth. Or miss Hresvelg’s right hand man, Hubert. Both of them seem to be ridiculously wary of Claude.  _ Ridiculously _ . They wound him, deeply.

“Nah,” Claude answers. “It’s just what they deserve. Plus, it’s funny as hell.”

“Right,” Hilda agrees, her smile bigger, because she is enjoying this as much as he is, or more.

Before them, Mister Blaiddyd seems about to explode, trembling like an overgrown child. Miss Hresvelg seems slightly worried, but not so much that she cannot scold the defendant with a deadly stare, which is impressive given her tiny frame. Mister Vestra is having the time of his life, and that Gautier boy… someone pray for that Gautier boy’s ass because it’s going to be beaten  _ so bad _ .

“Ugh, yeah, that’s Sylvain,” Hilda says, her expression a little put off. “I hope they castrate him. He is one of those awful skirt chasers that play with women’s hearts.”

Claude almost chokes, but he successfully tries not to laugh too loud. “You mean, like you used to do with guys?”

Hilda groans at that. She used to be like that when she was younger, only interested in men to gain favors from them. After learning to value herself more, she realised that she could provide for herself on her own. And she’s damn kickass at it.

That doesn’t mean that she is not self aware enough to feel at least a little of shame.

“That was a long time ago, now I-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re now dating Marianne and you’re happy and in love in your lesbian paradise,” Claude says, still laughing. “I just like teasing you a little.”

Hilda does smile at that, fondly.

“You’re an asshole.”

They hear a noise, and both look at the scene once again. Conversation interrupted, for now.

“Oh, look at Dimitri.”

“Is he crying?” Hilda murmurs in disbelief.

The popcorn eating becomes even more passionate.

**Author's Note:**

> You can hmu at @korepers on twitter, or @lehoiurdin on tumblr. I think I'm nice enough!
> 
> Again, thank you SO MUCH, to all the mods, and all the contributors. This zine is amazing, full of talented people that tried their best to create something beautiful. Give them all a look!


End file.
